Where did you get this black baby?

When two very white people walk around with the cutest black baby with a huge afro, people will stop and talk to you who normally would not.  I think it's usually because they are nosy, which I can totally appreciate, because I am too.  And while a lot of times I want to tell them about how I was shacked up with a black man before I met Danny, I usually tell the truth, because it is a good opportunity to talk about foster care.


So we tell them that we are foster parents, and the same questions always arise.  "Will you get to keep her?"  To which I try and explain that her mother loves her and is working to get her back, and that we hope the best for her, but if the situation arises where she can't go back home, we would most certainly adopt her.  To which then there response always is "Wow, that would be so hard, I don't think I could do that."  And I am not faulting anyone for these questions or responses.  They were and would be some of my own,  I just now have a new perspective being on the other side of it.  When people seem to idealize us for being foster parents, I don't know how to respond and it makes me uncomfortable.  Do you say "thank you",  "I know, we are pretty special people..." or just smile and nod, (which is my most common gesture)?  Because the truth is, we are not special, and trust me, if you could spend 10 minutes in our house you would get that.


What I have really been thinking about this week is that God has called us to do a lot of hard things.  Off the top of my head, marriage is one of them.  Yet when I got engaged, people were very celebratory and excited.  No one responded, with "Now, you know marriage is one of the hardest and selfless things you will have to do and have to continually work at, right?  Are you sure you want to do this?"  Same with having your own biological children.  SO hard.  I mean, forget about sleep, money or hobbies, this little person dictates your world.  But when you announce your pregnancy, no warnings then either.  On the flip side of that, I understand that even though these are some of the hardest things you will do, they are also the most blessed and rewarding, and people realize that when weighing the pros and cons, they wouldn't change it or want to scare you out of doing so.


I think the same is true with foster parenting, or at least that is what I hear from people who have been doing it a while.  And let me say right upfront that I have VERY little experience with this fostering business.  She is our first placement, and we have yet to experience anything traumatic.  But I do think that with even my very little experience, God has been showing me that just because something is hard, is not an excuse not to participate.  Jesus didn't say that following Him would be easy.  The whole "take up your cross and follow Me", and "love and pray for your enemy" don't sound easy.  Jesus' and His disciples lives' were no picnic.  But I think when we try and look with perspective, we would have it no other way.


All this to say, I think a lot of people are called to love other families and children that are not biologically your own.  Not necessarily in your own home, but to some capacity.  And that will be very hard and messy, but when I try and maintain the perspective that it has nothing to do with who I am and how qualified I am, but everything to do with who God is and His power, it seems a little less frightening.  A little...


And if you every want to talk to people who actually know what they are talking about, and have like 20 kids, all while advocating and equipping people to participate in foster care ministry, you should check them out  here.  They are the bees knees.